


Indigo

by Kyoki1125



Category: Voltron Legendary Defender
Genre: Allura is a Massive Bitch, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Blade of Marmora Keith (Voltron), But isn't she always?, Fantastic Racism, Galra Keith (Voltron), I think. . ., Keith (Voltron) Needs a Hug, Keith (Voltron) Whump, Keith (Voltron) is a Mess, M/M, Protective Krolia (Voltron), lots and lots of angst, no beta we die like men, someone give him a hug
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-13
Updated: 2021-03-13
Packaged: 2021-03-20 19:35:15
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,692
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/30009888
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kyoki1125/pseuds/Kyoki1125
Summary: 'They don't want to see me.''They don't want to see me.'Keith knows this. It's the only thing he can think anymore. His own team got rid of him. He wasn't good enough for them. He was disgusting and horrible enough to be kicked out of Voltron.He must be selfish to wish for them back. After everything that happened between them, Keith should hate the Paladins. He should.But he can't.
Relationships: Keith/Lance (Voltron)
Comments: 5
Kudos: 129





	Indigo

**Author's Note:**

> I've been sitting on this work for about six months, fully completed, and I had the random urge to upload it tonight. This week has been absolute hell for me, so I might as well output those emotions into something more productive than whatever the hell I've been doing for the last few days.
> 
> This is basically a work of angst and pain, mainly for Keith, so if that ain't your cup of tea, you might want to avoid this work.
> 
> Anyway, I hope you enjoy.

It's been almost two years. Two whole years since he left Voltron. It doesn't feel nearly that long. Keith never realized how stiff and controlled life on the castle was, and living with the Blade is one of the best things to happen to him. 

He isn't fully Galra, and it shows. His skin is a pale lilac instead of the deep purple of the other Galra, and his eyes have pupils. He also has a tail, which not many Galra have, apparently. Oh, and every Galra is nearly twice his height. Exciting. But life with the Blade is great. It's relaxing in an odd way, and they're much more accepting than the Paladins had ever been. 

Unfortunately, the Paladins are fighting a losing battle. Apparently, they can only form Voltron half of the time, and they haven't made much headway into the war. Even so, Keith can't bring himself to care much. It serves them right, for doing nothing while Allura tortured him. 

Now, though, they are coming to the Blade headquarters. Ulaz had informed them of the Paladins' destination earlier that week, and they're due any day now. 

Keith is, unfortunately, on break from all missions right now, so he's venting his frustration in the training room. The endless stream of robots is about as good as he's going to get for the next few phoebs, so Keith is going to make the most of it. 

"Kit, you are going to hurt yourself at this rate. It is not healthy," Antok's voice says behind him. 

Keith stabs the robot he's fighting in the chest, unable to stop a burst of satisfaction at the sight of the mangled remains below him. "I don't care."

Antok snorts. "You're a Blade. You can kick their puny asses if they try anything."

"I don't want to solve all my problems that way," Keith growls. "They kicked me out because they thought I was a blood-thirsty Galra. I can't prove them right."

"Why do you still care about what they think?"

 _Because I wish they would take me back,_ Keith's traitorous brain thinks. His mouth is more agreeable, and he says, "Because I never stopped caring about them. For some reason."

He has every right to hate the Paladins, but they were his friends. He lived with them for months and he knows that all of them are good people. Shiro didn't want him to leave. Hunk looked upset. Even _Lance_ looked a little remorseful. Keith does hate Allura, though. His brain has tried to argue that it isn't completely her fault, that the others were wary of him too, but as every Blade has pointed out, he likely could have stayed with the Paladins if Allura hadn't been so vehemently against him staying. 

And Keith doesn't blame them for being nervous around Galra - the Alteans have every right to be angry - but he doesn't understand why they decided he was a completely different person now that they know he's part Galra. He lived with them for _months_. Surely he would have turned them over to Zarkon during that time if he was a spy!

"We've gotten word that they'll be arriving shortly. Three vargas or less. Kolivan would also like to speak with you," Antok says. "I wish you luck, Kit."

"Thank you." It used to surprise Keith, how much the Blades care about him, but he's grateful for the care and love they've shown him. That they continue to show him. 

Keith takes a quick shower and changes into simple black clothes. He burned all his clothes from the castle. Looking at them hurt, and he can't stand to feel that pain. Not after everything that happened. 

Kolivan is in the main sitting room. A thing about Galra: they cuddle. In massive piles. There are groups among the Blade that group together, but Keith, having been unofficially adopted by Ulaz, Thace, and Kolivan, is allowed to pile in with them. It's all non-sexual, since Galra are very tactile by nature, and cuddle piles are a sign of trust between them.

Though, the thought of Zarkon or Sendak in a cuddle pile has Keith laughing every time.

Keith sits down on a cushion in front of his leader, a mix of nerves and anxiety fluttering in his stomach. "You wanted to see me, Leader?"

"It's nothing serious, Keith. The Paladins are on their way, as you know, and I simply wish to advise you to at least speak with them. You do not have to, of course, and they do not yet know that you are here, but I have no doubt they will ask about you."

Keith blinks at Kolivan, surprised at the advice. Kolivan had been the angriest about his situation, and among the first to help Keith settle into a life with the Blades. 

"I don't want to see them," Keith growls. "And I doubt they want to see me."

"They have asked several different rebel camps about your whereabouts," Kolivan says calmly. 

"Out of obligation," Keith spits. "They just want to make sure I'm not dead in space somewhere because heaven forbid the Paladins of Voltron feel guilty about something!" The venom in Keith's voice is enough to kill a person, and Kolivan doesn't look the least bit surprised. 

"As I said, it is your decision. I will not tell them anything about you, but I cannot deny that you are here. Is that alright?"

God, thank the lord for Kolivan. He's a much better leader than Allura ever was. He's stern, but he can be gentle when he needs to be. Allura was just. . . angry. Her anger blinded her, and it layered everything she did. It still does, really. 

"That's fine. Is there anything else?"

"There is. Krolia will be landing in twenty doboshes. I called her back for you."

Keith's tail starts wagging, but he pushes down the squeal that wants to erupt out his throat. "Why? Wasn't her mission important?"

Keith's met his mother in person once, on a rendezvous with her after a mission, but her deep undercover mission was always incredibly important to her. He's ecstatic that she's returning, but also a little confused as well. 

"Her mission was wrapping anyway," Kolivan assures. "She also thought you could use the support." Nothing means more to the Blade than family, something Keith learned quickly. Even if two Blades hate each other, they'd never betray the other, as is the bond within the Blade. 

"Thank you," Keith tells Kolivan. "For everything."

Kolivan's lips twist into a small smile. "We are merely doing what the Paladins should have done."

 _Damn right,_ Keith thinks, a smile of his own stretching over his face. 

Keith sprints to the hangar, and he's just in time to see his mother's ship land. He can't stop the way his tail twitches in excitement, and Keith knows his fur is puffed out in happiness. He's called his mother before, many times, but he's never gotten to see her or cuddle with her or train with her for more than a couple of seconds before. He's excited to finally have her back.

Krolia practically tackles Keith to the ground with the force of her hug. "My sweet kit, it is good to be back."

Keith's arms tighten around his mother. "It's good to have you back. I missed you."

"I missed you too, Keith." Krolia presses her lips to Keith's forehead before pulling back to look at him. "How are you holding up? Will you be alright?"

"I don't know," Keith whispers, pressing his head against his mother's chest. "I really don't know."

* * *

Allura, Lance knows, _despises_ the Galra. He has absolutely no idea why she decided to take up an alliance with a group of them, but he's more than a little happy about it. Maybe now she'll start to regret what she did to Keith. 

_I should have stood up for him._

The thought crosses his mind every day. It happens when he sees the training room empty. When Allura steps out of Red after a mission. When Shiro sleepwalks. He can practically feel Keith there, beating at the Gladiators, walking down Red's ramp, helping lead Shiro back to bed. 

It's like Keith is haunting the castle. 

Lance stares at the Blade of Marmora base, seated in between two black holes. As with every rebel base they visit, Lance's brain immediately thinks, _Is Keith there?_ There's always a dark voice at the back of his mind that warns of Keith's potential death. Galra are not treated kindly anywhere in the universe, and with how small Keith is in comparison to some aliens, he could potentially be overpowered. It's not super likely - Keith is one stubborn son of a bitch and can fight better than any person Lance has ever met - but Lance can't help but think it sometimes. It's the main focus of most of his nightmares. 

The other Paladins feel the same - well, not _exactly_ the same; he just hopes they do, even a little bit - but only to some extent. Shiro, while the closest to Keith, reacts violently to almost any Galra. Pidge, while sympathetic to Keith's cause, can't help but see her family's murderer in him. Hunk, while inherently kind and accepting, won't look past the anger and bloodlust he's come to expect in all Galra. 

Lance, well, he just wants Keith back. Even if it's only for a couple of minutes. 

Lance turns away from the bridge. He needs to be alone, and Blue is the only one who won't judge him for crying over Keith. 

He had been angry, when he found out. But not for long. He had watched Keith beg to stay on the castle. He had seen Keith break down when Shiro called him an imposter. He had heard Keith weep through the door, suffering and in chains. 

How could he stay angry after seeing that? How could he stay loyal to Allura after watching her torture his friend?

Not being able to form Voltron is usually his fault, and he doesn't even feel the least bit bad about it. Allura doesn't belong in Red. The Lion doesn't open up for her outside of battle, so clearly, Red is just as angry with the princess as Lance is. Probably more, if that's possible. 

Any affection he had for Allura died a long time ago.

Lance had always teetered between Keith and Allura, knowing both would never give a chance but pining after them anyway. Keith and Allura were both strong and powerful, unattainable and perfect.

Now, he knows they both have flaws. 

Keith has powerful emotions, as strong and volatile as a hurricane. When he breaks down, he falls apart. When he cares, he gives all he has. Keith is just. . . so _human_ , the most human out of all the Paladins. Lance doesn't know how Allura could slander him after seeing how loyal and protective Keith was to Voltron. Allura's flaws, in hindsight, are a lot more obvious than Keith's ever were. Once she has an opinion on something, nothing can ever change that opinion. It's not an inherently bad trait, if it wasn't for how horrible Allura's opinions can be. They cloud her judgment, and her judgment isn't always crystal clear to begin with. 

If Keith is at this base, Lance doesn't want to beg for forgiveness. He doesn't deserve it. But he does want to apologize. More than anything.

 _"The Red Paladin will accept my Paladin's apology,"_ Blue murmurs soothingly in Lance's head. _"He cares. He knows that you did care."_

"Yeah," Lance says bitterly. "He thinks we all hate him now."

_"If you admit to your guilt, he will begin to heal. The Red Paladin wishes to return."_

Lance looks up at his Lion. "How can you be so sure?"

_"Red has not given up on her Paladin. I suggest that you do not either."_

Lance walks into Blue, feeling tears prick at the corners of his eyes. As he collapses in Blue's cockpit, the Lion lets out a soothing purr. 

"I don't even have to see him," Lance whispers. "I just want to know he's alright. That he's found somewhere safe and that he's happy." Tears flow freely down his face now, and Lance doesn't even bother to try and stop them. "And if he'll let me, I want to say sorry. I want to say that I miss him. That I don't care if he's Galra or not. That I. . ." _love him._

_"Do not be afraid. The Red Paladin is cold and harsh, but only because he wishes to protect himself._

_"Prove to him that, this time, my Paladin will protect him as well."_

* * *

Nerves tingle in Lance's stomach as they walk into the Blade base. Red had been vehement to come, so much so that every Paladin had felt it, and Lance doesn't know what to think about that. He doesn't want to get his hopes up, but a part of him can't help but pray that Keith is here, that he's safe, even if he doesn't want to see the Paladins. 

There are Blades lined on both sides of the entrance, and Lance has the distinct impression that they're glaring at the Paladins behind their masks. The leader stands with his arms crossed behind his back, a large Galra at his side. 

Slowly, the two Galra take off their masks. "Paladins, welcome. I am Kolivan, and this is Antok. I was wondering when you were going to show up."

Lance is sure he isn't the only one that picks up on the sheer coldness in Kolivan's voice. He does _not_ sound happy. Or look happy, for that matter. Kolivan's face is set in a passive expression, but there's a frigid edge to his posture.

Allura dips her head to the Galra, face emotionless. "It is a pleasure to meet you."

Lance is sure he sees Antok snort at that, and judging from the way Allura's mouth thins slightly, so does she. 

"Save the pleasantries," Kolivan says coldly. "We have business to discuss."

Allura nods, and the Paladins follow the Blade Leader through a door to the left. The tunnel opens up to a massive room piled to the brim with pillows, blankets, and Galra of every shape and size. Lance can't help but notice that a good majority of the Galra gathered are children or hybrid Galra. He sees several pregnant Galra among the group, lounging next to each other or playing with the multitude of children. 

"As you can see, not all the residents here are Blades. We take in hybrid Galra and deserters, and while we are suspicious of them at first, none of them have turned out to be spies or traitors." One point to Kolivan for the dig at Allura, aware of it or not. 

_He's totally aware of it._

"We take care of our own," Antok rumbles. _Ooo, one point to Antok!_ "The safety of the base and all the non-Blade members is our top priority, and we will not allow any unstable elements inside." Antok's golden eyes narrow at the Paladins. "We are taking quite the risk having you here."

Two points to Antok! _Ouch, that stung!_ Lance thinks delightedly. He also delights in the self-conscious flinch that goes through both Allura and Shiro.

Kolivan leads the Paladins past several training facilities and even a small nursery. The small toddler Galra - only two of them! - are curled up together in a small nest-like bed, and they don't look much bigger than a human child at that age. 

"Fun fact," Antok says without a single ounce of humor in his voice, "Galran children are not considered adults until they turn twenty-three deca-phoebs."

 _Yowch, Antok is really racking up the points here!_ Lance has a new contender for his second-favorite Galra right here. Lance can almost be distracted from his own guilt at the situation. It feels way too good to have someone point out that the Paladins aren't some omniscient gods. 

_Heroes? Sure. Good people? After what we did, no fucking way._

Finally, the Paladins arrive at what looks like a formal meeting room. Kolivan and Antok sit at one end of the table, and Allura silently takes the other, her eyes cold. Shiro sits down next to her, and Lance tries to get comfortable next to Hunk. All of them are firmly aware of how tense this meeting is going to be. 

Oddly, he has a feeling he'll be rooting for the Galra.

"Kolivan, before we discuss the terms of the allian-" Shiro's formal way of saying 'Have you seen a Galra named Keith?' is cut off by Kolivan.

"He does not wish to see you."

"What?" The confusion in Shiro's voice is music to Lance's ears. Lance is stunned by Kolivan's words, but his relief and sheer happiness overshadow the emotions. Guilt and self-loathing rise just as quickly, but Lance is so damn happy to know that Keith is alive and with the Blade to really dwell on the multitude of things wrong with him.

"Keith does not want to speak with any of you. After what you did to him, I completely understand why," Antok snarls.

"Antok," Kolivan warns with a sharp look at his subordinate. He turns to the Paladins and says, "I was not aware you were looking for him. May I ask why?"

"We want to ensure that he is happy in his life outside of Voltron," Allura says calmly. 

Lance sees Antok's jaw clench, but the large Galra doesn't say anything.

Kolivan clears his throat, shooting a dark look at Antok. "Yes, well, we are not here to discuss my kit. I believe Voltron is looking to ally with the Blade of Marmora?"

Lance feels a sob bubble up in his chest. _'My kit', Kolivan said._ Keith has someone looking out for him now. Many people, if he's living here. And Lance has never been happier. From what Lance has seen of the base, Keith is much better off here than he is on the castle. 

"Yes, we have a plan to defeat the Galra, but it will not work without your help."

"The _Empire_ is a very formidable threat, Princess, as I'm sure you're well aware. With Voltron as volatile as it is, we cannot be sure this plan of yours will do much at all."

 _Damn, these Galra are really good at pushing Allura's buttons. Kolivan: 2, Antok: 3, Allura: 0._ Lance is liking that score.

"There are a few. . . kinks we will need to work out, but we are working hard to ensure the plan's success." Is Allura uncomfortable? There's a slight edge to her posture, almost like she's nervous.

_Good._

"Why do you want this alliance, Princess?" Kolivan asks, golden eyes narrowed.

"We have several other rebel groups willing to work with us as well, but the Blade has a wealth of knowledge we feel will be greatly beneficial to the cause." The response is stock and carbon copy, and Lance can practically taste the cardboard it could be printed on. No doubt Kolivan and Antok pick up on this as well. 

Kolivan nods, but his eyes are still cold and narrowed. "My subordinates do not wish to form an alliance with you. We do not want to be enemies, and we all want this war to end, but you will not be accepted here. Not by my men, and not by me.

"The Blade has worked hard to get where we are. We had to lose everything before we could even hope to gain some sense of stability. I understand you know this feeling, Princess, but your prejudice is unhealthy for everyone around you. I advise you to keep this in mind during your stay here."

With one last withering look at the Paladins, Kolivan says. "You are dismissed. We will speak again tomorrow."

As soon as the two Galra are gone, Pidge lets out an explosive sigh. "That went well," she says sarcastically. 

"It's no be expected," Allura says calmly, and as soon as she opened her mouth, Lance knew he wasn't going to like what came out of it. "Negotiations between the Galra and Voltron have always been stiff, even before the war."

"I wonder why," Lance grumbles under his breath. 

"I'm going to find Keith," Shiro announces, getting to his feet.

"A-Are you sure that's a good idea?" Hunk asks. "Kolivan says he doesn't want to see us."

"I need to speak with him."

"Ah ah, sit your ass down, Black Paladin," a new Galra growls. She stalks into the meeting room, her eyes - yellow with purple-grey pupils, Lance recognizes with an ache of familiarity - narrowed at Shiro. "Keith is not interested in seeing you, and I cannot guarantee that you will walk away from the experience in one piece."

"H-He'd attack u-us?" Hunk stammers, clearly afraid. For not the first time - though it is exceedingly rare - Lance wants to punch his best friend in the face. Multiple times.

The female Galra rolls her eyes. "No, dumbass, _I'd_ attack you. So would any other Blade member. Keith is honorable enough to only vent his frustration on the training bots. The rest of us are not so controlled."

Allura snorts. Actually _snorts_. Like he does almost every day, Lance wants to punch the princess in the face. He wants to beat her black and blue, and while the desire used to surprise and scare him, now he welcomes it. And it looks like he isn't the only one interested in beating up Allura, as the Blade member stalks up to her, yellow glowing in the depths of her pupils. 

"I'm going to warn you, just this once. If your bigoted ass goes anywhere near my son, I'll make your life hell. _Don't test me_." 

_Her son. Keith has a mom. Keith has his mom._ Lance wants to cry. The pressure of tears is building up behind his eyes, and he chews on his bottom lip to stop it from trembling.

The Galra then calmly walks to the door, a cold smile on her face. "The name's Krolia, by the way. Don't forget it."

Lance shoots one look at his stunned - and pissed off, in Allura's case - team before jumping to his feet and racing after Krolia. It doesn't take her long for her to turn around and glare at him, muscles tense like she's ready to punch him in the face. _I deserve it._

"C-Can you tell Keith I'm sorry?" Lance says, the words rushing out his mouth. "I want to respect his privacy and I know he doesn't want to see us, so please tell him that I'm. . . that I miss him?"

Krolia's eyes widen slightly, and her tense figure relaxes just a little bit. "Tell him yourself. He's in the hangar, if you want to talk with him."

"Thank you," Lance breathes.

"The hangar is that way," Krolia says, motioning to a tunnel to their right. "But I cannot promise he will want to talk."

"That's fine," Lance asserts. "None of us deserve it, after what we did to him."

A small smile crawls onto Krolia's face. "It's because you are so sure of that that I'm sure he'll give you a chance." 

As she walks away, Krolia throws over her shoulder, "Good luck, Loverboy."

* * *

Keith stares up at Red. He can feel her purring in the back of his head, a presence he didn't know he could miss so much. Her barrier falls as he walks closer, and the purr in his head grows strong enough to rattle his entire body when she opens her mouth for him. 

It feels like coming home, sitting down in Red's chair. He stares out at the hangar through her eyes, relief and nostalgia and joy all merging together and making his heart ache. 

_"My Paladin,"_ Red purrs. _"Mine."_

Keith's breath catches in his throat. "Did you- Did you know?"

 _"I should have warned you, my Paladin,"_ Red whispers. For the first time, the Lion sounds regretful. _"I did not wish for my Paladin to leave. My Paladin, the only Paladin."_

"I thought Allura-"

 _"No,"_ Red snarls, her anger making the cockpit shake. _"Not worthy of her throne. Not worthy to any Lion. I only listen to her because she claims royalty. I regret the decision with every time she dares to pilot me."_

"Have- Have they looked for a n-new Paladin?" Keith asks, voice trembling despite already knowing what she's going to say.

 _"Of course,"_ Red scoffs. _"None of them are worthy. There is only one Paladin for me, and that so-called 'Princess' drove him away from me."_

"Are you sure-"

Red cuts him off again. _"The closest I will come is the Blue Paladin. He cares for my Paladin, more than the others, than anyone, but his place is with Blue, soothing instead of instigating."_

"Lance?" Keith says with a note of hysteria. "Why Lance?"

_"He cares, my Paladin. He does not hate my Paladin. He understands that my Paladin is brutal only because no other Paladin can be. And he wishes to help my Paladin through his pain."_

Keith can't help the snort that escapes him. "How are you so sure? You know what they did to me."

_"I do. And my Paladin does not have to forgive the Blue Paladin. However, there is something my Paladin must see before he makes up his mind."_

A picture of Lance appears in front of Keith, from the view of Blue's eyes. "Yeah," Lance says after a moment. "He thinks we all hate him."

With a jolt, Keith realizes what he's watching. A conversation between Blue and Lance, a very private conversation. "Red?! Why are you showing me this?!"

The video pauses, and Red purrs soothingly. _"My Paladin must see."_

"I don't want to see this!" Keith insists, panicking slightly. _Lance hates me. They call hate me. I don't need to hear it to know that!_

Instead of replying, Red unpauses the video of Lance, who looks up at Blue with wide eyes. "How can you be so sure?" he whispers. Keith stiffens at the sadness in Lance's voice, the emotion so genuine it almost sounds real.

"Red!" Keith pleads. _It's not real. It's not real. It's not real._

_"Watch. It is real."_

The feed switches to Lance in Blue's cockpit, sagging against the pilot's chair. Are those. . . tears? Is he going to cry? Is that why his eyes are so glassy?

"I don't even have to see him," Lance whispers, voice cracking. _Not real. It's not real,_ Keith chants.

"I just want to know he's alright," Lance continues, voice thick. "That he's found somewhere safe and that he's happy." Keith watches a tear slide down Lance's cheek, and it's like a dam bursts. Tears flood down Lance's face, and he sniffles softly. "And if he'll let me, I want to say sorry. That I don't care if he's Galra or not. That I. . ." Lance trails off, and Keith's heart pounds as Lance buries his face in his hands, soft sobbing continuing through the video until it freezes.

 _That you what?!_ Keith thinks hysterically. Feelings he doesn't want to feel bubble up in his chest, long-forgotten and buried. A whimper forces its way out of his tightened throat, and Keith has to fight down tears. _What were you going to say?_

 _"He cares for my Paladin,"_ Red assures, her voice steady and certain. _"And he believes he is not worthy of my Paladin."_

"Is he?" Keith whispers, voice small. He wishes his emotions weren't so tangled up, wrapped in a mess to the point that he doesn't know what he's feeling anymore. 

_"That is not my place to say. These are my Paladin's feelings, and he must decide for himself."_

Keith stares at the still image of Lance in front of him, heart slamming against his ribcage and blood running loudly in his ears. _Maybe. Maybe he is._

The door to the hangar opens, and Keith's heart skids to a halt.

It's Lance.

Of course it is. 

Lance looks up at Red through the barrier, and Keith's eyes are immediately drawn to Lance's eyes, the bluest color he's ever seen in space. "Uhh, hey Red. Must've just missed Keith then, huh?" He chuckles to himself, the sound humorless. "He must really not want to see us. I don't blame him. It was so shitty of us, what we did to him, and there isn't a day where I don't regret not standing up for him."

_This isn't happening. I'm hallucinating._

_"It is real, my Paladin."_

Heart-stoppingly slow, the scarlet barrier separating Red from Lance comes down, and Red lowers her head to let Lance in. 

"No! Red! What are you doing?!" Keith yells. "Stop it!"

_"You must speak."_

"Red," Keith pleads again. "Please."

_"You need this."_

Keith turns to look at the cockpit entrance. He can hear Lance coming up the stairs. The footsteps echo in his head. _I can't do this,_ Keith's subconscious whispers. _I can't do this._ He'll break down and look like an absolute fool in front of Lance, and then Lance will be angry with him again, and Keith can't handle Lance being angry. He can't handle anyone being angry. They'll just leave him again, and he won't be strong enough to come back from that a second time. 

_"You are strong,"_ Red assures. Keith can feel her nudge at his mind, urging him to meet Lance at the door. 

He doesn't. Keith just stares, whole body stiff, as Lance enters the cockpit. The Blue Paladin pauses at the sight of him, and Keith mentally prepares himself for rejection. Again. Lance slowly walks forward, and Keith stares as he takes his trembling lip between perfect white teeth. 

"H-Hi, Keith," Lance whispers. Keith watches, enraptured, as Lance's throat moves, like he's swallowing back emotions. _Or bile,_ Keith's brain supplies, only feeding the anxiety and fear spiking through his stomach and chest. Adrenaline rushes through his veins, prepared to help him fight his way out if he has to. 

"I'm sorry," Lance says quietly. After that, it's almost like Lance can't keep the words, and they rush out, quick but just as sincere as the video Keith just watched. "I shouldn't have. . . You don't have to forgive me! You shouldn't! We were all so, _so_ horrible to you, and it's something I'll never forgive myself for. I'm not asking for forgiveness. I don't deserve it. I just. . . I had to tell you that I'm so, so, so sorry about what I did to you.

"Whether you're Galra or not, you're still Keith, and I wish I had seen that earlier. I wish everyone else would see it, and I know you suffered more than all of us put together after we found out. There aren't enough words in the universe to express how sorry I am about that.

"I don't think. . . I didn't realize how much I cared about you until you were gone." 

Lance's voice cracks, and he looks away from Keith. Keith can see tears glistening in the Paladin's eyes, and his heart skips a couple of beats. His chest aches as if he's being slowly crushed under a boulder. 

Lance slowly turns around, and his shoulders are slumped as he starts to leave.

 _"Go to him,"_ Red urges. 

Keith swallows thickly. Then, just before Lance vanishes from sight, he throws himself into the taller man's back. Lance gasps, but Keith doesn't let go. He buries his face in Lance's back. _Lance has gotten taller,_ Keith realizes dizzily. His shoulders are broader. His voice has deepened, just a little bit. 

"Thank you," Keith whispers into Lance's back. His throat is painfully tight, and the words come out choked and emotional. Is he crying? This is an appropriate time to cry, right? "Thank you, Lance." 

Lance moves Keith's arms, and for a heart-shattering second, Keith is sure Lance is going to leave. But he doesn't. Instead, he turns around, wrapping his long arms around Keith. Lance pulls the Blade against his chest, his face buried in Keith's hair. "You don't have to thank me," Lance murmurs. 

As they sink to the floor, Lance says quietly, "Now I'm the one who gets to cradle you in my arms."

Recognizing the jab - it's just a joke, right? - Keith grumbles, "Shut up. I'll at least try to remember it."

"I deserve that," Lance mumbles. "You can order me around. I won't even complain."

"How generous," Keith drawls, but there's amusement in his voice despite everything. "Damn right I do."

Keith can't help but rub his chin and cheek against Lance's chest. "When we're done here, which probably won't be for a while, I'm going to kick your ass. And I'll enjoy it."

"I deserve it," Lance agrees. There are tears in Keith's hair, but the Blade can't bring himself to care about it. 

"Yeah, you do, and if the Princess comes anywhere near us, I'm going to punch her in the face."

"I'll help."

"After that, I'm going to nap, and god help me, if you don't nap with me, I'm going to dismember you."

Lance's laugh sends a pleasant vibration through Keith's cheek, and it's the prettiest sound Keith has heard in a long time. God, he missed that laugh.

"You know, I like the kitten ears. Very cute," Lance teases gently. He's walking on eggshells, and Lance knows it, but Keith is too shocked and happy to really get angry at the moment. 

Keith huffs. He should have expected that. "Remind me why I missed you."

"You missed me?" The disbelief in Lance's voice has Keith dislodging his head from underneath Lance's to look at the other man. 

He looks Lance right in the eyes as he says, "Yeah, I did." And saying it has a weight lifting off his chest, and Lance's hands start to card through his hair. 

"I missed you too, Samurai."

Keith feels a purr start up in his chest, his eyelids drooping as the emotional exhaustion of the last few hours finally starts to catch up with him. 

_Samurai. I like that._

**Author's Note:**

> This is a one-shot for now, but I might make this a little series of one-shots. One for each of the Paladins - and maybe Allura, who knows - but I have too much on my plate at the moment to really take on anything too big right now. I do really have an interest in this little universe I've created, so that's something at least.
> 
> Constructive criticism is welcome, as always. I love hearing reader feedback; it helps me make my work better in the future, and that's the whole reason I started uploading work in the first place, so let me know your opinion.
> 
> Also, if you're looking for angst, check out [The Blood You Hate](https://archiveofourown.org/series/1273580) by Idhren15. It's a collection of works following this same concept, though a lot longer and with a lot more trauma thrown in. I genuinely cried when I read parts of it, and most of it is so heart-rendingly horrible that I can barely read it in large doses. So, you know, a little warning there. But the fics are short and they pack a lot of a punch, so check them out if you're interested.


End file.
